The Code of Old Man Krime is the book written by the ancient historical figure Old Man Krime on the nature of Goblinoid Civilisation. In Old Man Krime’s opinion, they are rules by which all Trolls and Orks should live their lives. Below is a shortlist often given to the uninitiated.

1. Don’t Lose
   “Losing’s for idiots. You ain’t an idiot, are ya’? Always win, even if ya’ gotta move the goalposts.”
2. If You Do Lose, Don’t Lose Again
   “Well you lost, idiot. But hey, you’re not dead. You know what that means? You get to do it again, and this time, Don’t Lose. You should know better by now.”
3. If You Win, You Were Right
   “You ever get stuck doin’ something one way and it doesn’t work, then you try it a different way and it does. That’s what I mean! The world told you to be one way, but you got what you wanted your own way. If you win, you were right!”
4. Love What You Make, Even If It Sucks
   “You ever spend years on somethin’ just to find out it don’t do what you want it to do? I did. I spent 5 years buildin’ a tank-boat but every time it went on the water, it sank. But did I hate it? No! I turned it into a submarine, and you should too.”
5. Equal Work, Equal Share
   “I don’t wanna hear this ‘oh they just mopped the floor the whole fight why do they get paid the same as me?’ shit. Everyone in an operation is important and gets their equal share. If you want more than everyone else then you are the problem, problems are idiots and only idiots lose.”
6. Don’t Break Your Word
   “Your word is all you got. It’s the metric by which you’re measured. People who break their word ain’t shit.”
7. Be Trustworthy But Don’t Be Stupid
   “Just ‘cos you won’t go back on your word doesn’t mean other people won’t. Expect to be cheated. Don’t trust someone who has everything, ’cos they always want more.”
8. Always Remember The Four F’s

• Freedom
  “As a Trog, ya’ always gotta respect a person’s liberty. Plenty of assholes ain’t respected ours, so now’s your chance to prove we’re better. There are lots of things you should take if you could; peoples stuff, peoples lives if they’re gonna try and take yours, but never take a person’s liberty.”
• Ferocity
  “You’re an Trog; you should act like it. Love what you do. I don’t care what you do for a livin’, be it designin’ spaceships or makin’ ice sculptures or knit sweaters for kittens, if you don’t love it, you ain’t doin’ the right thing.”
• Flash
  “Don’t just do somethin’ if you can do it with flash. Don’t just make a home; make it look flash! Don’t just make breakfast; make it to the beat! Don’t just drive to work; race there! Whatever you do, look good doin’ it. If you win, look good, if you lose, see Rules 1 and 2, but look good.”
• Family
  “Family ain’t blood. Family is the people you’d do anythin’ for. Anyone can be family, even Elves. It’s your job to make sure your family is doin’ their best at all times.”